January 2000 smoking jacket by Gregory Alkaitis-Carafelli |
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A Modest Book Proposal
Dear Publisher:
This new year is in need of a project sufficient in scope to both
celebrate the empty excesses of the past few decades and embrace the
increasing isolation of the individual in the years to come. I propose the
start of a series of novels -- five total -- after the completion of which
the author will kill himself. The death should be an integral part of the
press kit, possibly hyped more so than the theme and content of the five
novels, tentatively titled "Novel One" though "Novel Five."
These books will be fragmented recollections of uncomfortable social
gatherings, related through an unreliable narrator. There will be no
plot. A recurring set of characters will travel the country both separated
from and mocking their peers in what will be alternately a modern update
of Poe's most private party in "The Masque Of The Red Death" and a cruel
post modern interpretation of the 1980's film "The Big Chill." These
characters -- think of the people from "Microserfs" -- will be exposed for
the drained souls they truly are, made empty by a technology that promised
only and grandly to bring them closer together. The message of utter
aloneness in an increasingly interconnected society will be supported by
the planned premature demise of the author, the centerpiece in a strong
branding campaign for the entire project.
Suggested media tie-ins to include: film and radio exclusive broadcast
rights to the highest bidder in each medium for the suicide; boxed set of
the five novels packaged inside a giant pill container, or each novel
separately packaged like drugstore medication. (In addition to traditional
channel partners, alternative distribution should be actively solicited --
the cooperation of a national drugstore chain in an end-of-isle
promotional display would be excellent.) On the project web site, Nick
Drake should be referenced as inspiration; his self prophetic album "Five
Leaves Left" cited as influencing the project title and scope. Allusions
or references to Brett Easton Ellis in any PR material should be avoided,
for obvious reasons.
Further to avoid diluting the project message the author will be
contractually obligated to refrain from any talk show or other television
interviews. Several radio interviews may be permitted along the project
timeline, but most media information should come secondhand through a PR
firm -- the author must remain outside the mainstream media in support of
the theme of the project.
Certainly there is nothing new about suicide, but where this project
diverts from the cliche of teen angst is in the thoroughness of execution
-- we leave not one simple note but a whole collection of text in support
of the act -- and the strength of the branding campaign. I look forward to
hearing of your interest in the project, and with best wishes for the new
year.
I remain Sincerely,
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