April 1997 posedown by Leslie Harpold |
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Written in the Stars
So - everyone's talking about astrology more and more these days in bold
defiance of the Pope. Okay, so no one ever listened to the Pope anyway, but that's not the point.
You may not believe in it, but there are times when
it's just more socially acceptable to go along with the plan than not, so
you may need a few tips to get you through. What follows are some key
phrases that you can use to slide thorough any conversation where "what's
your sign?" is one of the questions.
Early in the conversation if you have a better topic ready to go, like punk
rock or Important Photographers of the 20th Century (those are favorites of
ours) you can just say "your sun sign doesn't really mean anything unless
you know your whole chart. I'd rather not cookbook something like this,
we'll discuss it when you know the whole picture." Immediately you'll have
hand and from there, use the ensuing silence to change to one of your
favorite subjects that you feel entirely more conversant on.
If you come in too late with that one, or say it in the wrong company it
can backfire. I know a girl who can do whole charts in her head if she
knows the birth info, and all of a sudden, she's talking a mile a minute
and you get the feeling she just looked in your underwear drawer and is
providing color commentary on your intimate apparel, if only the psychic
kind.
Signposts
Here are some sign by sign basics that will almost never steer you wrong:
Capricorn: Aquarius: Pisces: Aries: Taurus: Gemini: Cancer: Leo: Virgo: Libra: Scorpio: Sagittarius:
Here's the most beautiful part of this little astro primer - if anyone
disagrees with you about any of the points mentioned above - and memorize
this phrase - you can always retort with "Well, I'd have to see the
whole chart to be more accurate. That's why newspaper horoscopes
are so bad."
Stress that you're in touch with a bigger picture, and people will think
you're the reincarnation of Sidney Omar, and you'll get to steer the
conversation to something you really know about.
back to the junk drawer
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