July 1997
s m u g
the biswick files
by Sherman T. Biswick

*

The High Price of Being a Gentleman

My first wife, Edna, told me that I was the most polite of the boys who were trying to spark her. She told me that I was a gentleman. I always thought a gentleman was someone who helped wash the dishes after a meal, walked on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street, and gave dimes to the little kids.

Recently, there has been a big to do in the neighborhood about a gentlemen's club opening down the street from the group home. Vern Stapleton and I got curious and decided to see what the gentlemen of today were like. So, we took the bus down to Art's Gentlemen's Club.

I didn't like the fact that there was no senior discount. We were both gentleman after all but we paid our three dollars to get in. Inside, there was a big stage with young women doing some modern dance moves around a fireman's pole. The gentlemen around the stage would give the young ladies dollar bills when they would come over. We figured that this was some sort of dance school. It was nice to see that gentlemen of today still appreciate the arts by helping these struggling artists and I don't see what the stink is about this place being open.

Vern got one of these friendly young artists to dance a solo for him for ten dollars. I guess the price of being a gentleman has gone way up since my days of giving out dimes. I'm on a fixed income and we all know that any price increases hit the senior's first. These folks griping about Art's Gentleman's Club could better use their time getting that darned Democrat out of the White House. If he stays in office much longer this inflation is going to make it so that I can no longer afford to be a gentleman.

*

Sherman T. Biswick
Concerned Citizen

editor's note: "Ole Sherm", as we call him to his face, or "The Biswick", as we call him behind it, doesn't have email, and thinks computers are taking away jobs from nice American undereducated laborers. He can be reached via ham radio, but we're not quite sure how that works.

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