July 1997
s m u g
and such and such
by the SMUG staff

*

Tyson vs. Holyfield

We, at SMUG think it's a shame that senseless violence and brutality has crept into the civized world of boxing. How barbaric. Boxing, until now, was a sport of gentlemen and erudites and we in no way condone any type of violence in any sport. Mike Tyson should be ashamed of himself for allowing his animal instincts to kick in while Holyfield opened that can of whoop ass on him, and allowed cooler heads to prevail, possibly suggesting that a more effective way to resolve their conflict would be to put on a pot of tea and talk about their feelings.

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Metallurgy

With the impending return of heavy metal to fashion, newly formed metal bands not only need a cool name and logo, but each member must have a cool name. Since the coolest metal name "Nikki Sixx" is taken already, we've made the effort to create a list of names that are still available. Feel free to use them, but please mention our URL in the liner notes.

We also feel it is important to know that we have followed the strict metal name guidelines here - only one umlat per word, and no using the word "little" in your name. That's acceptable for blues guys, but not heavy metal artists.

1. Orül Sexx

2. Trick Ponee

3. Tommy Tün

4. Dick Wagon

5. Noiz Maker

6. Riff Rangler

7. Skeeve Jobs

8. Burt Durty

9. The BagMan

10. The Tooth

11. Radon Chong

12. Scrappy Dü (for Germans only)

13. Marty McNothing

14. Clawed Monet

15. The Plumber

16. Mousee Alini

17. Früt Loup

18. Icky Banna

19. Didi Romm

20. Johnny Minstrel (who would of course lead the band Johnny Minstrel and the Cramps who would dress in - you guessed it, period costumes.)

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staff@smug.com

*

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