July 1997 and such and such by the SMUG staff |
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Tyson vs. Holyfield
We, at SMUG think it's a shame that senseless violence and brutality has
crept into the civized world of boxing. How barbaric. Boxing, until now, was a sport of gentlemen and erudites and we in no way condone any type
of violence in any sport. Mike Tyson should be ashamed of himself for
allowing his animal instincts to kick in while Holyfield opened that can of
whoop ass on him, and allowed cooler heads to prevail, possibly suggesting
that a more effective way to resolve their conflict would be to put on a
pot of tea and talk about their feelings.
Metallurgy
With the impending return of heavy metal to fashion, newly formed metal
bands not only need a cool name and logo, but each member must have a cool
name. Since the coolest metal name "Nikki Sixx" is taken already, we've
made the effort to create a list of names that are still available. Feel
free to use them, but please mention our URL in the liner notes.
We also feel it is important to know that we have followed the strict metal
name guidelines here - only one umlat per word, and no using the word
"little" in your name. That's acceptable for blues guys, but not heavy
metal artists.
1. Orül Sexx
2. Trick Ponee
3. Tommy Tün
4. Dick Wagon
5. Noiz Maker
6. Riff Rangler
7. Skeeve Jobs
8. Burt Durty
9. The BagMan
10. The Tooth
11. Radon Chong
12. Scrappy Dü (for Germans only)
13. Marty McNothing
14. Clawed Monet
15. The Plumber
16. Mousee Alini
17. Früt Loup
18. Icky Banna
19. Didi Romm
20. Johnny Minstrel (who would of course lead the band Johnny Minstrel and
the Cramps who would dress in - you guessed it, period costumes.)
back to the junk drawer
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