No More Shrinking Violets

If you didn't want to be a rock star, Jewel, you should have stayed your ass in Alaska. Hey, I know I sound harsh, and it's purely intentional. I mean it. I'm totally fed up with the whole "poor me I'm a big star" pose, it's nothing but disinformation. If Jewel didn't want to be a big star, then the snaggle-toothed waif would still be playing coffee houses and bus stations in the great white north. Period.

My detractors, here, I fully expect are popping up with the "then why did she, as she's been quoted as saying make an all acoustic album with low production values that she intentionally thought people would hate? That's what she's saying in the papers you know." Yeah, I know and I'm laughing so hard my sides hurt.

I assure you, this is a girl who wants to be famous. Otherwise she would have turned down the big recording contract. She knew full well when she signed, as all artists who sign their souls away to major labels that is, they invest money in you, and your record doesn't perform, you have to give the money back. You agree up front to tour, make videos, public appearances and do interviews. That's how the system works.

It's not just Jewel, either, she's just the most recent person I've heard whining, we've seen similar poses struck by even less credible wannabe shy stars like Eddie Vedder and Gavin from Bush. Now if anyone ever wanted to be a rock star - it was Gavin Rossdale. This boy even knows exactly which rockstar he'd like to be - can you say Kurt Cobain? I knew you could. Of course, he'll never come close, but that's a whole other story for another time.

Frank Black recently walked away from a recording deal he and his new band The Catholics had with Sony. Because they wouldn't put out the record Frank made, saying it was not slick and commercial enough. That was fine with Frank, and they parted ways. You know why? Frank's not a pop star. Frank's an artist. Yes, some of those rock people are actually artists. Thurston Moore (ever heard a top 40 Sonic Youth Hit?) - he's an artist. Layne Staley is a rock star who would like to think he's an artist, but the truth is the front man for Alice in Chains is just a really talented rock star. Being a rock star not an artist doesn't mean you're not talented, although it's truly unnecessary that you be talented to hold that title, and it even helps now and then, but still, it doesn't make you an auteur.

...For You Will Surely Get It

I have heard from really good sources that the only reason boys start playing the guitar is to get chicks. Well, I think to be more inclusive, it would be to get laid, so we don't leave poor Bob Mould out. As for chicks, well, chick rockers usually start out with something to prove or something to say, and it goes from there. Performers do not get on stage to not be seen. Maybe they aren't prepared for the level of fame they may achieve, but they fully expected to be famous, even wanted it at some point. This becomes nothing more than a clear cut case of "be careful what you wish for."

Poor Jewel. I think what she wasn't banking on is the detractors. People like me who would say mean things and call her snaggle-tooth and talk about how derivative and unoriginal her music was and how much pain it must cause her to look in the mirror and be neither Tori Amos nor PJ Harvey. To be nothing more than a disposable pop star with no real promise of lasting value to the history of American Music, a watered down version of the angry chyck solo artist sanitized for mass consumption. People she couldn't get over on.

leslie@smug.com

in the junk drawer:

July 1997
June 1997
May 1997
April 1997
March 1997
February 1997
January 1997