August 1997
s m u g
compulsion
by Leslie Harpold

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What's in My Purse?

Pilot SCA-UF Ultrafine Permanent Xylene free marker

Well, I'm sure before Smug folds up because I have run away to found a Mexican Flea Circus when the whole "new media" industry blows up, I will describe, in lurid detail all the contents of my purse, having already tackled my lipstick and my Ren Dan. it's only a matter of time before I'm on to things like my Tiffany key chain (every woman should own one thing from Tiffany) and the mini-helmac lint remover. So today it's my pen. More accurately, one of my pens, but a particular favorite.

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When I turned 25 a coworker was kind enough to give me one of those fancy yuppie Waterman fountain pens, and while I was appreciative, it was a little too swanky for me, in the same way I'd never feel comfortable driving a Mercedes. (For those of you updating your Christmas lists, however, think Pathfinder).

When I go the office supply store I can not be trusted. I know better than to take credit cards, checks, or more than 50 bucks, or I would easily owe my soul to Staples, a thought I can not get comfortable with. I've always been fickle when it comes to ball points, vacillating between wanting extra extra fine for light delicate penmanship or those drippy parker medium stick pens that leave a nice fat line complete with ink globs that show the reader of your scrawl you really tried hard to write to them and the leaking pen serves as a metaphor for your soul, leaking onto the page. I knew there had to be a happy medium, but roller balls always left me cold, that too smooth - too fast action reminded me too much of my Musician dating years.

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So - in a particularly lucky spree of trying new pens, which I do all the time, I found the Pilot SCA-UF Ultrafine Permanent Xylene free marker. The point is fine enough that you can fill in the most minute of forms, and sturdy enough that when you want to make a bolder statement, you can use the side of the pen to get a wider tip. The ink is black black black, not like those other wussy markers who deliver kind of a newsprint color brown based charcoal color, and even after repeated uses, I manage to keep the pointy little tip in tact.

I manage to, however, I have never once lent one of these pens to anyone who hasn't messed it up. When I get it back, for some reason, everyone who has ever used this pen of mine - well, one of hundreds of these pens that I have owned, has returned it with the tip flattened, so that the only way I can make it write is to hold it at a 90 degree angle to the paper, which, while fun sometimes, doesn't leave me in the happy place.

But I deal. I buy in bulk now and have a couple on hand at all times. I just don't let anyone use them and when asked for a pen will hand them something slightly more indestructible, heaven knows there are always at least twelve pens in my purse at any given moment.

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They can write on any surface from glass to wood to plastic wrap and they don't smear or run when you get them wet, the ink is really permanent, permanent, good for the graffiti if you have a lot to say and a little room to say it in, and great for short but meaningful post it notes. The only thing you can't use them for is checks, because the ink will bleed through the paper. They're great for drawing, although if your paper has much nap to it, it will wear the point down faster. Mostly, I just love this pen because - well, it's a great multipurpose pen that's about the right length, and the right width, not too thin, not too fat, for my personal paws.

The most unusual thing about this 88 cent piece of wonder is that when someone hands me a pen and it's - you know - one of these special ones, I feel like they just lent me the keys to their car, because I know I never would have let them use mine.

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leslie@smug.com

in the junk drawer:

July 1997
June 1997
May 1997
April 1997
March 1997
February 1997

featurecar
net
worth
chair
bumping
uglies
gun
smoking
jacket
barcode
ear
candy
pie
feed
hollywood
lock
target
audience
scissors
three
dollar
bill
dice
compulsionvise
posedowncheese
the
biswick
files
toothbrush
mystery
date
wheelbarrow
and such
and such
hat
blabfan
kissing
booth
martini



Pilot SCA-UF Ultrafine Permanent Xylene free marker







     
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